I've decided i need to be more spontaneous. stop thinking about things so much and just do them. or else nothing that i want is ever gonna happen. like today, there were so many things i wanted to do, that i should have done, but i waited too long and missed my chance. so tomorrow i'm gonna try much harder to just do the things that i want, not think about it, so hopefully it will be better (:
As if i can do that. you know, making things better in my own way is LONELINESS. that would be the product.
That is the reason why i turned myself into the old me. the real me before i met him and before we had this thing. and now that he is gone. i am back to being me.
The old me would be the one that hates going to school, always absent from class, i listen to that teacher. :) i mean, my classmate just told me that i changed, she said a "bad" change.
Well, he did too. that is what my friend told me. she said that he was better being with me and not with the other girl.
I always say that I am okay. But i really don't know what i really feel with the reality that i have no boyfriend and that he has a new- 2 weeks after the break up.
It made me realize that we forget who we really are when we love and that we are willing to give all that we have just to let the person notice us and love us in return even though that certain someone doesn't even like you.
I mean, the truth hurts. but i wish it would be less painful. the pain is what i am complaining about.
HELP. :(
PS. absent for school again.
6:16 PM
Yes, pretend. A word that I am good at. :)
Today is thursdaaay.
I arrived early in school and was greeted by my bestfriend.
I must say, I enjoyed my day today. lol.
okay okay. i will make a list. i can't really explain the things that we did kanina.
1. sat with my bestfriend. (boy) he was my OFFICIAL seatmate. 2. our teacher in filipino made an illustration of the el fili characters. hot hot. ISAGANI. and "i forgot" his name looks like chris tiu. 3. PHYSICS long test!!!!!!!! nothing more to say. -_- 4. fun economics test. our teacher permitted us to cheat. lol. she calls us parasites. rawr. 5. no lunch for me. hunger strike. hang out with the lower years and did a little eavesdrop on my crush FRANZZZ. 6. no computer class. got the chance to use the new computerss. 7. no effective writing and english class. camwhored in the classroom. grafitti artss in the lockers. i love ametit. 8. mapeh play. 9/10. lab u siirr!! 9. hang out with M and R. while watching our MINORs crushes play basketball. 10. went home with sir A, he gave me his password in multiplyy. yahu!!
That's all. BOWWW.
4:15 AM
Monday, October 6, 2008
Haha. Okay, first of all my title doesn't make sense at all. it is from a song i listened to yesterday.
8:50 PM
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
i will be posting a happy blog.
kasi naman it was my first time that my teacher threw a chalk at me and my friend. haha, we were so noisy kasi, economics class, we never listen to our teacher, we were enjoying our game SPOT THE DIFFERENCE on a pic in the magazine,
hndi kasi natkpan nang girl yung nipple nya. we were laughing so hard and maybe she was distracted she threw chalk to us, sabi pa niya baka umulan dw nang mga chalk pag di kmi ng shut up.
so, yeah, we listened to her and shut our mouths.
computer class is next, my classmate and i made a note in a paper saying MAHAL KITA PACIANO, and placed it on top of the cpu, our teacher noticed it and took the paper and read it to the whole class, he was using the microphone, all i did was smile, too embarrassing.
i enjoyed our spare time during english class because our teacher had her honeymoon. i slept on top of the table in physics lab, when they warned me that our very strict teacher was coming i hurriedly jumped and my classmate told me that i looked like a BUGOY, okay, whatev.
and the girls started to touch each others boobs. i was a victim, i didn't touch theirs. cruel people.
expect more happy blogs next time.
i'm sick of the past. but i still love him. :)
5:33 AM
Monday, August 25, 2008
Haha. okay, ang OA ko sa last post ko ha.
well, i really do not know what is the real deal between the girl and with my ex.
and i texted him just to settle things.
the first part of the conversation was very intense, super. nag english na nga ako eh.
but it kinda crossed my mind that he was protecting the other girl, which made me angry but i just kept it cool and said sorry to him. he did too. :)
but, i was really worried though, i don't want him to fall for a back stabbing and super duper plastic girl. i think, alam niya lahat na bad word eh. yea, she is pretty but when it comes to her attitude, i really don't know if she is the type of girl my ex would fall in love with.
i'll just leave it all to God. i hope he will let my ex see the true colors of that girl.
_`bye.
2:44 AM
Saturday, August 23, 2008
So, this is going to be a serious blog, and i will be using taglish so i can express my feelings, and you will get what i am feeling now, and because i am not that good in writing english, i am just good in speaking. :)
moving on..
ang araw na ito ay nabibilang sa mga BAD DAYS ko. pwde na ring WORST EVER. pumunta kmi nang SM city ng mga friends ko to eat our lunch and to cheer for our school mates sa reporting contest. seb, was texting me, he told me that we will meet later kasi may sasabihin dw sya sa akin tungkol sa ex ko (we broke up 3 weeks ago, sya ang nagdecide). i ask him if it was good or bad, obviously BAD NEWS sya because he wanted to talk in person. so after eating our lunch, i met up with him and his girlfriend kung saan on going yung contest,
S: may sasabihin ako sayo, bsta don't freak out, M: cge, bilis.. S: ang reason na nkipag break c P sau is meron na siyang iba. M: fuck, S: huwag kang umiyak dito, waah, pumunta ka muna sa friends mo, di ko kayang tingnan ka na umiiyak.
so, pumunta ako sa friends ko, in the middle of the crowd. my friend hugged me and dun, i just broke down. i was so sad, she didn't want me to continue crying so she did everything para mapatahan lng ako.
so, there i was. i was very mad, galit talaga ako. then, someone told me na they were in SM too, then when i look up, there nandun nga sila. magkasama! this time, di na ako umiyak. i was really angry so, me and my friends went to cafe rue, to calm down.
i won't cry over him. that's so stupid.
i'll make him regret na iniwan niya ako.
and obviously, i won't let him in again.
4:12 AM
Monday, August 18, 2008
"will you just hold me tight and never let me go"
that song was playing while i am thinking of a niceee and interesting blog title.
so, i guess you already heard the song i posted in my previous entry, i love it. i mean, the lyrics.
18 came. and nothing exciting really happened. in short, there was no miracle. no one texted too, well maybe because of globe's holiday. that's what i call it, all globe users cannot receive and send messages. so, i need to rest my thumb, give it a break. :)
then, i remembered that my friends and i planned to go malling today. so, i contacted them. i just reached T and F. and we also ended up in SM City together. they went to my house and we went to SM together.
i was expecting that SM will be crowded and full because it was holiday and students spend their free time, usually in SM. but when we arrived in SM, there were a FEW students.
T told me that maybe they were too tired of clubbing on Saturday night, because we never really experienced that so we never get tired going to the mall, it was like our hobby. lol.
movie time. we chose a very special love, because majority of the movies that was showing, we already saw them. so, we ended up watching a "local love story" movie.
during the film T teased me that maybe i was already crying, and that i was remembering my ex bf. but yes, she was true, i am in the stage of denial so i can't really tell them what i feel. i just smiled. :)
after the movie, we went to our favorite stores and T bought a new shirt. i am going to buy flip flops and a new tshirt/hoodie that i saw in penshoppe and maybe some bling from F&H too.
so, i am here, back in my rotating chair, reminiscing the past, and thinking of WHAT IFss.
